Jowl Workout 101

I never thought that I would have any problem getting older.  I’m not really bothered by crow’s feet around my eyes or laugh lines surrounding my mouth.  My hair is greying but L’Oreal makes that a non-issue.  I’m not terribly thrilled with my recent lack of waist but as long as I wear appropriate clothing, that too is not a huge deal.  What I did not anticipate was the ability of saggy jowls to add at least a decade to my appearance.  I find that if I sport a big cheery smile they disappear somewhat, but I’m not really a huge smile kind of person so that isn’t really a solution.

So what’s a gal to do?  I started by Googling jowl exercises and found a few.  Well, quite a few.  Apparently I’m not the only woman worried about her droopy facial muscles.  So that brings me to the next thing that I am going to try – Jowl Workout 101.  They are the most ridiculous-looking exercises of course, certainly nothing you could do with an audience.  So I am going to vow to do five repetitions of three exercises every time I pee.  And I pee a lot so this should work out fine.

All three exercises start with the head tilted backward, always a flattering posture.  The first exercise involves keeping my lips closed, and making a chewing motion.  The second exercise has me trying to bring my bottom lip up over my top lip.  I alternate this movement with sticking out my tongue and trying to touch my chin.  Oh yeah, super attractive.  So I do each of those five times which seems to coincide well with the amount of time it takes to pee.  A perfect match.

I actually started yesterday and after Day 1 those muscles are a little sore.  Does this mean good things for the future?  I certainly hope so.  So now all I have to do is pick a reasonable amount of time.  How about 4 weeks?  So I’ll check back in with you in 4 weeks to see how things are going. 

I know that a before and after picture is key for this type of project, but I honestly can’t bring myself to share the before picture.  Tell you what, I’ll take the before picture and if the after picture shows some kind of remarkable transformation, then I promise to share the before picture with you.  After all, at that point it won’t be my super jowls anymore, will it?